Family Trait Detective Pillows

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

$1: Family Secrets

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

"You know something doc, he weirdly kind of resembles you."

God changes His will.

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST, 'He wants to be a cop!'

"If Heather has two mommies, and each of them has two brothers, and one of those brothers has another man for a 'roommate,' how many uncles does Heather have?"

Thomas Hunt Morgan

"How did my mom know I went to get ice cream after school? She's either placed a tracking device on me, or she's tracking my phone."

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

"Albert Morris? But I've spent the last six months researching Alberta Morris?!"

'Kenny,your mother and I have decided it's time you knew the truth - you're adopted.'

"Stop it, Mom!"

'I feel so proud. Dad says my cooking is just like Mum's.'

'Last year Frank tried tracing back his roots but came back empty!'

'Boy, your mother has a temper!'

What's mom's deal? She thinks we lie to her. Careful with the work "we," my little peck. Girls never lie. That was a whopper!

She's got your eyes.

'I think you'll be interested in the next patient. He's ninety two years old and accompanied by his parents.'

"First, I did things for my parents' approval, then I did things for my parents' disapproval, and now I don't know why I do things."

"My mom was a Holstein-Friesian, and my dad was the King of Diamonds."

Jocasta Mothering.

"Let's see now...genealogy books...genealogy books..."

'We haven't had much luck finding your ancestors. But we did manage to trace that suit you're wearing all the way back to the early 80's.'

"Junior must be in here somewhere."

'You are such a drama queen! Heaven knows where you get that from!'

"Not one of the Dartford Warblers?"

"Ooh, Dave. Your DNA results have come back! According to this, you're 10% German, 15% Irish, and 75% layabout."

'Don't worry about it, Son — Kleptomania runs in the family.'

"I'm tripping over bernedoodles, labradoodles, goldendoodles, schnoodles and cockapoos, ...and you want me to somehow believe you're not sleeping around?"