Family Trait Detective T-Shirts

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

$1: Family Secrets

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

"You know something doc, he weirdly kind of resembles you."

God changes His will.

Thomas Hunt Morgan

"How did my mom know I went to get ice cream after school? She's either placed a tracking device on me, or she's tracking my phone."

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

"If Heather has two mommies, and each of them has two brothers, and one of those brothers has another man for a 'roommate,' how many uncles does Heather have?"

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."

CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST, 'He wants to be a cop!'

"Albert Morris? But I've spent the last six months researching Alberta Morris?!"

She's got your eyes.

'Boy, your mother has a temper!'

"Stop it, Mom!"

'Last year Frank tried tracing back his roots but came back empty!'

'I feel so proud. Dad says my cooking is just like Mum's.'

'I think you'll be interested in the next patient. He's ninety two years old and accompanied by his parents.'

"First, I did things for my parents' approval, then I did things for my parents' disapproval, and now I don't know why I do things."

"My mom was a Holstein-Friesian, and my dad was the King of Diamonds."

Jocasta Mothering.

"Let's see now...genealogy books...genealogy books..."

'We haven't had much luck finding your ancestors. But we did manage to trace that suit you're wearing all the way back to the early 80's.'

"Junior must be in here somewhere."

'You are such a drama queen! Heaven knows where you get that from!'

"Not one of the Dartford Warblers?"

"Wow! Wait'll I tell Dr. Feldman about this dream!"

GENEALOGY - FAMILY TREE RESEARCH, 'Whoa! -- John Wilkes Booth AND Benedict Arnold?'

"...then I take out one of these, ll them it's an ancestor, and try to sell it to them."

"Ooh, Dave. Your DNA results have come back! According to this, you're 10% German, 15% Irish, and 75% layabout."