Family Tree Detective T-Shirts

Geneology Service: 'I'm afraid you fall into our 'better off not knowing' category....'

"Let's see now...genealogy books...genealogy books..."

'I'm related to royalty.'

"Albert Morris? But I've spent the last six months researching Alberta Morris?!"

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

'Brace yourself -- You're related to Bill Clinton by blood, and two of your cousins were once married to Rudy Giuliani.'

'Last year Frank tried tracing back his roots but came back empty!'

"And this entire section is the obit of a very thorough genealogist."

"...then I take out one of these, ll them it's an ancestor, and try to sell it to them."

"Remember, I warned you against tracing your family tree."

$1: Family Secrets

Family DNA

'I demand a DNA test.'

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

"You know something doc, he weirdly kind of resembles you."

God changes His will.

Thomas Hunt Morgan

CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST, 'He wants to be a cop!'

"We've found your birth mother."

Who's your daddy?, INC. It

"If Heather has two mommies, and each of them has two brothers, and one of those brothers has another man for a 'roommate,' how many uncles does Heather have?"

'Omigosh! According to your resume, we share the same father!'

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

Man at desk researching through papers.

"Tia Carmen, are we related to Luis and Walter Alvarez?"

'Kenny,your mother and I have decided it's time you knew the truth - you're adopted.'

"Hi! Is this Jesus of Nazarath, son of David? This is Stan. We're family! I found you on Ancestry."

"Stop it, Mom!"

"Don't bother wasting your money on DNA testing. The results all come back, 'Ape.'"