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"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

Brünnhilde's Funeral Pyre

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

'It's time you knew the truth. You're not my real son. You're a novelization.'

Wotan with eye patch

'Oh my, it's my sister's address! I'm delivering my own nephew!'

'My teacher has a good memory. She remembers what a rotten kid you were.'

Now I'll read your father's 6th will and testament, which I'm sure you know may change a few more times.

'Our drug cartel would like to help Lambeth Council fight the cuts, respecting criteria of inclusion and diversity.'

"Good memoir, but we're looking for something more candid. Like not-being-invited-home-ever-again-for-Thanksgiving candid."

"That's your uncle Colin. He's the black sheep of the family."

Sauron's Sore Eye

"Luke, come over to the light side."

'And to his son, he has left his Leprosy.'

Mum, I don't care what these nasty kids say about my brothers Romulus and remus being adopted: I love them all the same...

'What'

Mr. Ralph Nickleby's 'honest' composure

I think that Sadie might be my long lost sister. I have a sister who lives in Boca Raton, FL., who is the mirror image of Sadie. Do you think that God could have made two of them and one got separated at birth? - Caroline R. Actual reader letter. Don't be absurd. Even a divine entity could not have created two women as comely as I am, and ... And? I might have a twin sister! According to a random letter that sounds facetious. To be continued.

In the old room

"I have my mother's eyes...my dad's nose...Abuelito's hair...and my great aunt's teeth. Just my luck to be stuck with my own brain."

'That's the last time I take 3B!'

Offer you can't refuse

'If Tony Soprano muscled in on the Corleone family, who would win?'

'Anybody home?'

'Don't tell anybody, but I have a date tonight with a rogue agent.'

'When my folks left for the evening, my little sister was always in charge...'

"Get the pliers yourself."

The Godfather Sends Chess Master Bobby Fisher a Message...

The Colonisation of Space.

Teddy had "health" at school. He doesn't need me. Ames. There's too much bad information floating around. That's for sure! It was mom who told us that babies come from a special hug god gives married people. You were 6!

Judicial Studies: History of Organized Crime. Is this required reading? Yes, it's an author you can't refuse!

"A cousin I hadn't heard from in years died."

"Your great abuelo Pepe started a business and made a million dollars...but he had a gambling problem and died broke."