Family Saga Aficionado T-Shirts

In the old room

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

Brünnhilde's Funeral Pyre

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

Wotan with eye patch

"Friend or foe?"

"One day son, all this will probably belong to some little floozy you'll marry."

'Our drug cartel would like to help Lambeth Council fight the cuts, respecting criteria of inclusion and diversity.'

"Two directors, three adaptations plus 3-D, and they STILL screw it up!"

Sauron's Sore Eye

"That's your uncle Colin. He's the black sheep of the family."

"Good memoir, but we're looking for something more candid. Like not-being-invited-home-ever-again-for-Thanksgiving candid."

A dinner table in the middle of a boxing ring

'What'

Mr. Ralph Nickleby's 'honest' composure

'That's the last time I take 3B!'

'Your wife gets custody of the cat and you get custody of your mother-in-law.'

'Anybody home?'

"Get the pliers yourself."

The Colonisation of Space.

'When my folks left for the evening, my little sister was always in charge...'

'Don't tell anybody, but I have a date tonight with a rogue agent.'

"Would you mind elaborating on this section of the resume, which claims that you're my love child?"

Dysfunction room.

"A cousin I hadn't heard from in years died."