Family Saga Aficionado Gifts

Now I'll read your father's 6th will and testament, which I'm sure you know may change a few more times.

In the old room

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

Brünnhilde's Funeral Pyre

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

Wotan with eye patch

"Friend or foe?"

Star-Spangled Danner Episode 4

"One day son, all this will probably belong to some little floozy you'll marry."

'Our drug cartel would like to help Lambeth Council fight the cuts, respecting criteria of inclusion and diversity.'

"Two directors, three adaptations plus 3-D, and they STILL screw it up!"

"That's your uncle Colin. He's the black sheep of the family."

"Good memoir, but we're looking for something more candid. Like not-being-invited-home-ever-again-for-Thanksgiving candid."

Sauron's Sore Eye

A dinner table in the middle of a boxing ring

"Luke, come over to the light side."

'What'

Mr. Ralph Nickleby's 'honest' composure

'Your wife gets custody of the cat and you get custody of your mother-in-law.'

'That's the last time I take 3B!'

'If Tony Soprano muscled in on the Corleone family, who would win?'

I think that Sadie might be my long lost sister. I have a sister who lives in Boca Raton, FL., who is the mirror image of Sadie. Do you think that God could have made two of them and one got separated at birth? - Caroline R. Actual reader letter. Don't be absurd. Even a divine entity could not have created two women as comely as I am, and ... And? I might have a twin sister! According to a random letter that sounds facetious. To be continued.

'Anybody home?'

"Would you mind elaborating on this section of the resume, which claims that you're my love child?"

'When my folks left for the evening, my little sister was always in charge...'

The Godfather Sends Chess Master Bobby Fisher a Message...

'Don't tell anybody, but I have a date tonight with a rogue agent.'

The Colonisation of Space.

"Get the pliers yourself."

Judicial Studies: History of Organized Crime. Is this required reading? Yes, it's an author you can't refuse!

Mayhem, Inc. Part 7