Family Story Enthusiast Gifts

I think that Sadie might be my long lost sister. I have a sister who lives in Boca Raton, FL., who is the mirror image of Sadie. Do you think that God could have made two of them and one got separated at birth? - Caroline R. Actual reader letter. Don't be absurd. Even a divine entity could not have created two women as comely as I am, and ... And? I might have a twin sister! According to a random letter that sounds facetious. To be continued.

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

"Your great abuelo Pepe started a business and made a million dollars...but he had a gambling problem and died broke."

"A cousin I hadn't heard from in years died."

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

True confessions.

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

The Family Joules: Part 21

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

Children's Party

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'Riley, I think it's time you learned the truth... You're adopted.'

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

"If she thinks I'm just gonna come running on home, wagging my tail behind me..."

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

'You were a band geek?! Maybe Max will play an instrument!'

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

"Grandpa, how did you ever survive without apps?"

"See those birch trees on the other side of the pond? That’s the exact spot where your mother first called me an idiot."

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"But our history was current events when you were at school Dad!"

'If I want to live happily ever after, grandma, do I have to marry a princess?'

Brilliance runs in my family, but in a zig-zag pattern.

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

"Just go ahead. It's my last day here and I hate this place."

'It's a horror-comedy.'

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

'It's time you knew the truth. You're not my real son. You're a novelization.'

"Oh I remember, it was a particularly cold day and your daddy whispered sweet nothings in my ear. It gave me such a warm feeling inside that I knew he was the one!"