Family Member With Cats Gifts

How cats see their home

My Fluffy Rock in the Storm.

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Cats on Board.

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"It doesn't do anything all day but eat and sleep and get waited on by a staff of bipeds. I think we've found the leader."

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

"Satisfaction, stat!"

Feline Evolution.

Chasebook

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"

"How do I get down?"

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

"Honestly, I prefer stick."

"Yeah, going to the dog park is good, but I must prefer a more intimate walk with my Master..."

"I hate it when he gets all Robin Williamsy."

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'

I know. Isn't it funny how people and their pets start to look alike?

"Yes, you were in a breech position, and it was the first time I was really pleased to see the vet..."

"I'm expected for dinner around seven. Other than that I'm completely free."

Why cat yoga classes don't work

Evolution of the Cat.

'He's not big enough to use the toilet yet.'

'you just don't get the idea of being a watchdog, do you?'

'Go ahead, open it. It's a ball.'

'Hello, is that Dugdame and Son's, the plumber?'

Vet's Waiting Room

Pookie's Din-Din, Pookie's Wa-Wa

'It all started with them sending me outside to do my 'business'.'

"Are you gentlemen ready to eat or would you like to bat your food around awhile?"

'Now I really am sick.'