Family Mealtime Navigator T-Shirts

Baldo's Life is Sweet Moment: Not getting the last serving of your tia's lengua casserole.

Child driving a toy car

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

'sugar and spice my eye.'

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

'None of the other things had instructions.'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

Mother's Day: 2nd Sunday in May, Others Day: Every day before and after the 2nd Sunday in May.

Kids go to school and mom goes to the psychiatric clinic.

"No arguing mister! I want you to eat at least one pea!"

My changing Body: A Guide For New Fathers

"Ironically, this all started with a little poke on Facebook."

'I think he's proud of his ability to be in the way in more than one room at a time.'

"Wet wipe?"

'Do you realize that I spend more time out than I do in?'

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

"This baby will hold more than a hundred and twenty-five cubic feet of family rancor."

'I'm afraid your child support payments will be quite substantial.'

"No, we're not there yet because your father refuses to ask for directions!"

'Would you like me to have a word with educational psychologist about Julie?'

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Boring Rainy Day Sitting Area.'

'Eddie's mom has nerves of steel. She didn't send me home 'til almost four.'

"And the lovely, little daughter understood her daddy was tired from harvesting people's personal data all day and went to sleep. The end."

"I thought we talked about this."

"I'm afraid you suffer from 'Teen Traumatic Stress Disorder.' Once your kids grow up, it'll go away."

"I don't know why she got so mad. I had an excuse based on a true story."

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

"Traveling alone? Don't worry. I'll probably be dead soon anyway."