Family Man At The Ballgame Gifts

"Ah, the innocence of youth. Enjoy it while it lasts."

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

Brad Pitt

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

'Daddy yells, 'I GOT IT I GOT IT' You should have seen how high the ball bounced off Daddy's head'

"Daddy and his boss still like each other. They just don't want to work together anymore."

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

'My daughter made me a decoy for Father's Day. It would break her heart if I didn't use it.'

Baby Carriers

'Dad, you are wasting your life. Stay home and play with me.'

"Why are they being so mean to us?"

Family Sidecar

'Hey, wait a minute!'

'My decision to retire and spend more time with my family has been overruled by my family.'

"When I get older, I want to be just like you, Dad."

Freak Family.

'We can't win. Mum keeps telling us to play quietly, and when we do, she thinks we're up to something!'

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

"You've spent lots of time with your family. It's time you got a job!"

"Your Covid-19 Test Results Are In..."

'Nest Accessories.'

"This paternity leave plays havoc with your handicap."

"You should wear your glasses, Sven."

'I'm going to have to let you go.'

New Dad.

"That's impressive, but I asked you to roll over."

'Geez, Dad! You never scream your lungs out at the refs! Don't you love me?!'

'Yes, I am unemployed, but I prefer the term, 'Stay At Home Dad'.'

Family wearing shin guards to protect against the kid in a play car.

Captive Audience.

Polo and Croquet player battle for the ball.

"I moved to the Internet to be closer to my children."