Family Life Aficionados Pillows

"Our little girl has blossomed into quite the little complainer."

"His room is always clean. Do you think we should take him to a psychologist?"

Wrapping children in cotton wool.

"I'm so tired: Joey was tossing and turning in his sleep the whole night and kept waking me up..."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

I love my family!

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

It's a Boy

"We'll start with the dessert menu."

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

Mother's Love

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"Use your inside scream."

"I'm so good at this!"

"I couldn't find the phone charger, but I was able to locate all the mouses the kids lost over the years."

'I think babies grow in a mommy's tummy and adopted babies grow in a mommy's heart.'

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

"I'm going crazy staring at the same four legs."

'They're a very successful family.'

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

"Do you have to do that even when it's not Valentine's Day?"

George Washington's sister was always getting him into trouble.

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

Family sitting on sofa.

'If he hasn't got a name yet, how do we know he's ours?'