Family Life Lovers Pillows

"Dad bods are so in right now."

Reality of Parenthood

"Mommy will get up in a minute."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Swinging

Balloon Kids

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

celebrating a birth.

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

"Attention, everyone! Here comes Poppa, and we're going to drive dull care away! It's quips and cranks and wanton wiles, nods and becks and wreathed smiles."

Family members!

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

"I couldn't find the phone charger, but I was able to locate all the mouses the kids lost over the years."

"I thought it was a strike, Troy—but ask your mother."

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"Use your inside scream."

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

"I'm so good at this!"

"If we play house, Timmy, we can't live with my parents because..."

'Hey, Grandma! Watch how long I can hold my breath underwater!'

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

'I think dad is beginning to regret falling asleep on the beach!'

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

George Washington's sister was always getting him into trouble.

"Do you have to do that even when it's not Valentine's Day?"

It was a good idea to let the kids bring their friends...

'This is almost as good as 'Sea World'.'

'If he hasn't got a name yet, how do we know he's ours?'