Family Intervention Pillows

"I'm thankful for this intervention."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

"Now, Mrs. Jones, repeat after me..."

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

"We need to have a serious talk."

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

"Go ask your mother ... and I'll tell you why she's wrong."

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

'My mom says we're expecting a house guest for 18 years.'

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

"Someday, my dimwitted son, all this will belong to your sister."

'I'm NOT being a tattle-tale! -- I'm being a reliable source!'

"Don't try to blame this mess on your father!"

'You shouldn't be nervous about meeting my parents - you're more their age than mine!'

Interpreters.

"I'm sorry madam but we don't make them go missing."

Proud Mum.

'Except...That.'

"I've spent so much time with my family that I've started to lose sight of what really matters."

'Text your father and tell him I'm not talking to him!'

The Supreme Court, Juvenile Divisio: "As usual, the obvious precedent for this case is the children v. Mommy."

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

A policeman and protester in the same family.

Interpreter.