Family Humors Pillows

"Mom! Dad! Do something!"

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

Dad Trophies

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

'She just came down the stairs without walking.'

"But Mom, you said it was a pup tent!"

"Okay, just one story. Once upon a time, there was a naughty little boy who wouldn't go to sleep."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

Baby cries into a cellphone.

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

'Here's what she was reading - an articl called 'Parents can be fun'.'

'You're making a marble cake? Did you run out of eggs?'

"Sure they love us, but once we turn 18 and are no longer a tax deduction, they'll tell us to move out!"

Adult Absence Notes.

'How long did you try before calling?'

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

'Shh, let me do the talking.'

Dad... this 'Book' thingy - where do you plug it in?

'You kids stop fighting or I swear, I will turn this banana around!'

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

"Mom said I can't watch TV until you finish my homework."

'Baby's got his first blue tooth!'

"Thank you, honey, for your vote of confidence in our parenting decisions."