Family Growth Enthusiast Gifts

China allows two children

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

The No No No's

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

I love my family!

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

"I'm so good at this!"

It's a Boy

"Use your inside scream."

"And this is my junior partner, my son, Ira."

Mother's Love

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

'In the interest of spending more time with my children, I've put Bobby and Emily in charge of corporate strategy.'

'I think babies grow in a mommy's tummy and adopted babies grow in a mommy's heart.'

'Don't worry, Dad. I'm going to turn this company around 360 degrees!'