Family Growth Enthusiast Mugs

China allows two children

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

The No No No's

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

I love my family!

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

It's a Boy

"And this is my junior partner, my son, Ira."

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

Mother's Love

"I'm so good at this!"

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"Use your inside scream."

'In the interest of spending more time with my children, I've put Bobby and Emily in charge of corporate strategy.'

'I think babies grow in a mommy's tummy and adopted babies grow in a mommy's heart.'

'Don't worry, Dad. I'm going to turn this company around 360 degrees!'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."