Growing Family Gifts

'He's at that difficult age: 0 to 16.'

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

We need a bigger car darling!

"Boy or a girl, it doesn't matter. As long as it's a whiz kid."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

A mom watches as her children get into a large SUV using a staircase.

'Does this mean I have to share my pocket money?'

'This whole 'grandparent' thing -- it's our parents and children conspiring against us!'

'We are looking for a bigger place to accommodate our extended family.'

"Thinking of buying a larger property are we, Madam?"

Snow family in front of maternity clinic

We can talk now: Mum has relunctantly agreed to give me some privacy

'Honey! It's for you...'

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

A father of three

"He's been unbearable since he learned to jump!"

'And we offer a discount for bulk purchases' - salesman selling babygrows to the old woman who lived in a shoe.

'If he hasn't got a name yet, how do we know he's ours?'

Contraception.

"Why, it's Minnie Manngold! Married 'n' everything."

'I'm not stressed out. I'm stressed in.'

The No No No's

"That's fathering."

"Do you have any other snack concepts?"

"This family is way too functional."

"You wanted to sleep in bed with us- start proofing these briefs."

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

Grounded

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."