Family Expansion Gifts

'But she's too ugly to be my duckling. I want a DNA test!'

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

'You can forget about the fertility dance this year - we've already got ten kids!'

'This whole 'grandparent' thing -- it's our parents and children conspiring against us!'

'Your mother and I feel it's important to let kids be kids. Can we leave that with you?'

Scolding

"I see you have three children. I'm afraid this is only a two-child salary."

A couple with a new baby

"Please continue as a lab rat, we have five mouths to feed!"

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"I blame the parents."

"Life’s become pretty easy lately. Perhaps it’s time we shake things up by adding a dependent."

"Yep. Looks like I'm pregnant again."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

The No No No's

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

Paul goes home for the holidays

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

Family members!

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

'What's that humming sound?'

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

Mime Baby

"This might take awhile, Lord."

'Of course if you wanna a really BIG family I guess we could always adopt.'

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

The Forever Stamp

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'