Family Expander Gifts

"Thinking of buying a larger property are we, Madam?"

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Ahhh...'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

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"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

"We've done everything in this book, and more. There's nothing left."

'Of course if you wanna a really BIG family I guess we could always adopt.'

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

'A baby brother? — I'm not ready to make a commitment like that!'

'I'm exhausted from too much enlightened skepticism, fresh perceptive thinking, intellectual challenges and independent ideas. What I need is some simple cliche living!'

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

Reading in the family.

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

"I like to think that each generation will need a little less therapy than the generation before."

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

"I changed my mind – no more kids."

Production manager with lots of children.

"All Vangundy is or ever shall be he owes to his mother."

"You won't believe it - your granddaughter's grown a foot since you last saw her!"

A couple with a new baby

'So, Bob, I hear you've branched out!'

"Don't take it personally, Dad, but if I need advice, I'll ask my phone...it's a lot smarter than you are!"

"I didn't hear the full story, but you came from either the stork or ebay."