Universe Expander Gifts

The Nut Expanded Universe

Big Bang Theory.

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Alien David statue

Outer Space Outsourcing

"Look what I found, dad!"

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

'But what is the universe for?'

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"This year we decided to vacation on the 3rd rock."

"Houston, we have a problem."

God Sneezes Out Creation

Man, my cat sneaks into the weirdest spots.

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

Boptimism

How we imagined A.I. in 1977. . . How it's looking today. . .

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

'Why can't you admit you're lost?'

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

Alien Snowmen

"Would you relax? They never look up."

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

"It's the dawn of a new era"

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'