Family Addition Gifts

Baby gift

"It's for you Mom. . . remember when you said that the last thing you needed around here was a dog?"

"It's new. You like it? I'm on the fence."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

'He's got your mother's teeth.'

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

The No No No's

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

'What's that humming sound?'

'It's going to be a vegan.'

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

'Of course if you wanna a really BIG family I guess we could always adopt.'

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

"We've done everything in this book, and more. There's nothing left."

Same sex families - it's about love, not sex, after all...

Reading in the family.

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

Family sitting on sofa.

A father of three

'If he hasn't got a name yet, how do we know he's ours?'

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."