Family Introductions Gifts

'You'll love Elliot, Father, He despises everyone even more than you do!'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

'Get a new hair-do, join a health club, call your mother...'

'He's got your mother's teeth.'

"Although the estate will be distributed equally, your father wanted you all to know that Keith was his favorite, followed by..."

'You shouldn't be nervous about meeting my parents - you're more their age than mine!'

It is nice to connect with family from other planets

How were the academic departments on the campuses you visited? Dad!!! Stop stressing me!! College hunting is hard enough without you prying into every detail of my life! Arrghh!! How were the drama departments?

'Remember the book about the scary monsters, Honey? Well, your father's relatives can't hurt you, either.'

'Must you find fault every time she brings a boyfriend home?'

Coronovirus dreams

"Mom, Dad - I'm adopted, aren't I?"

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

'Thank you, my dear, for taking the runt of my litter in holy matrimony...'

"My, this Cabernet pairs well with your parents and the four Martinis I had at the bar."

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

"You're about to discover why I left home at 15."

Baby Elephant drinks water from it's trunk

Twig, do you

Gay adoption

'...open beer bottles with his teeth.'

"Meet my extended family."

"It's for you Mom. . . remember when you said that the last thing you needed around here was a dog?"

'I've got a good feeling, this one's a 'keeper'.'

"No kidding …? This is my first reunion, too."

"It's just for a few days, darling. We're a very close family."

"What about instead of your stepdad, you just think of me as a 'gritty reboot'."