Family Growth Fan Gifts

They used to be best buddies. That was before she came along and tricked him into having a baby.

At the market

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

"Why do leaves change color?"

George Washington's sister was always getting him into trouble.

"We've doubled our staff in the last six months." (Smith and Smith - baby in playpen behind desk).

Holiday Travel.

'My parents didn't want me getting left behind in the system.'

"Careful George. You don't want to hurt our baby boy."

'Can you read this one for me? I have a book report on it tomorrow.'

'Look, mom! They ran out of trick or treat candy, so they gave us these kittens!'

You never caw.

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

"Think about it: Toby's the only ram here, so we have to be half brothers!"

'Quit playing kick ball with your brother!'

"I was just like you, then I hired a life coach. Now look at me!"

"This is my son...I want him to work his way up all the way from the bottom- even if it takes all day."

'Hey, wait a minute!'

Mom - You gave me the best years of your life.

"We moved here for the schools."

'We can't win. Mum keeps telling us to play quietly, and when we do, she thinks we're up to something!'

"Dad! Woody's taking all the fun out of the Easter egg hunt!"

"Let's look for spots and then talk about what we would've done on 'em 10 years ago."

"Clean your specs, lady?"

Freak Family.

My dad's teaching me how to mow the lawn, fish and use the grill, I'm teaching how to Google, text and use an ipod.

"Grandpa, if I ever decide to get involved in farming, it will be strictly as a commodities broker."

"Somehow, Daniel, you're not as cute as you used to be, and you're beginning to lose our attention."

"Well, he's learned to walk the walk, now he just needs to learn how to talk the talk."

'Wednesday wave.'

"Oh, now I remember you. You live in that big shoe on the corner."

Sharing sweets with dad.

"Can I have a pony?"