Family Grower Gifts

'You're pregnant?'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

Don't mind us. We're just trying to eat more locally grown food.

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

Jeff realised it was probably time to discontinue his subscription to 'Office Plant of the Month'.

"Is his nose locally grown?"

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious day when you're ripe and not yet mealy?"

"Mommy wants you to know where your food comes from."

'And this is the secret of how our company gets through hard times: we grow all our own food!'

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'I say it's spinach and the heck with it!'

Planting vegetables - "BEAN there done that."

"You just need a few sprigs to spice up your meal Sir..."

If business gets any worse, I'll have to start laying off relatives!

'This morning I was the second largest pumpkin at the State Fair...'

Norman's decision to raise chickens first in the back yard, then the front yard and eventually the living room would cause great dismay the day his car keys went missing.

'Not a shed, just a shop.'

You're not selling those silly upside-down tomato contraptions? I confess. They're fun! Fun? They're an affront to mother nature and common sense. A $3 seed packet grows enough for five families. Why sell over-priced fads? Mother nature never offered to pay my rent.

You just plant the seed, water it, and when it grows, you eat it --- I call it "agribusiness."

'My mom's planting broccoli and squash. I'm planting popcorn and jelly beans.'

"One day, assuming that I don't flip out and massacre everyone down at the mortgage bank that's foreclosing on us, all this will be yours."

"Juding by your expression, your mom made kale for dinner."

Woman in grocery store sees live vegetables growing beneath farm-fresh vegetables sign.

'Can't wait to see those green shoots coming up...'

The Large Hadron Cow Collider.

"This is awful! When I asked for a pony, I never thought they'd get me one!"

Birds laughing at a scarecrow.

One upside-down tomato planter. I can't wait for juicy, free tomatoes. It's $23.37 with tax. Not bad for homegrown tomahtas. Plus $8 for potting soil, $15 for the hanger, $11 for organic fertilizer, $16 � Hey! � Where are you going? To the "Pick and Save" market.

'Just a minute, mom, Are you bringing in any fruits or vegetables,'

Writer's Plough