Family Gathering Narrators Gifts

To Grandmother's House We GO

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Ahhh...'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Christmas Tree

"Hi-yah!"

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

True confessions.

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

celebrating a birth.