Family Dynamo Pillows

'And do you, Rex, promise not to take sides?'

"The doctor says Tia Carmen is resting now...he's encouraging all family visitors to go home. We'll see you back here tomorrow."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to far, go together." - African proverb.

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

"Quick! The ideas are hatching!"

A child as a pet substitute.

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

Out of patience

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

'You are right, honey, it's raining too much. It's not the best day to visit my mom.'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"We need to have a serious talk."

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

'My motto is 'Lead, follow or get out of the way!''

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

'Yoy know perfectly well WHICH corner, Jamie!'

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

Bears: 'Mummy, mummy can I sleep over at Jessica's this winter.'

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."