Domestic Dynamo Pillows

I give up. What is it?

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"Oh, sure, I remember him. He was quiet, mostly kept to himself, paid the rent on time. You know, we were only married for sixteen years."

"I was going to make dinner but we are all out of peanut butter and jelly."

Exhausted mother holds up 'Off Duty' sign.

"Let's do something really different and daring tonight to stimulate our marriage... Tonight I'll wash and you dry!"

"Get yourself a drink and relax, dear, while I fetch your slippers and the phone bill."

"You do realise, when I come into a room, I don't always do vacuuming."

"It'll keep him busy while we discuss his faults."

"'Macho Soap'! For the house husband who wants red, raw, rough hands!"

"I can't get the blasted tin opener to work."

The House-Husband

Just one moment dear.

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

'As long as the house is clean, his dinner's cooked, the bills are paid, the shopping's done and the kids are taken care of then Herb doesn't mind me getting a job - it takes some of the pressure off him.'

"Martha, it's your grown independent son asking what side the jelly goes on a PB&J sandwich."

"I'd better stay in and get some stuff done around the house. If I don't my wife can get pretty loud."

"No need to worry Doris. I'll have the dishes, the clothes and the dog all spic-and-span when you get home."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Just six months ago, he was completely feral."

"What happened to one o'clock?"

"Philip has questioned my stewardship."

Jack of all trades

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"Why do you need so many computers?" "One for billing, one for stock control, one for human resources, one for financial management..."

Networking

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

"I'm starting my own delivery service. Is there anything you want to borrow from my Dad?!"

"Lovely dovetail."

'She posted her first blog today.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

A holiday at home

Dog flying with a drone backpack is attacking another drone delivering the mail.

I wish you kids would get off your electronics and learn a practical skill. Work with your hands! What does he think we're doing?!! Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.