Family Dynamic Spectator Gifts

"All this running around you do at night … it’s killing your mother."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

A child as a pet substitute.

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

'Simple case of gravity, mom.'

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."