Family Dynamic Explorers T-Shirts

'He's my wife's second cousin three times removed, but he keeps coming back.'

'You're lucky, I'm turning into my mother.'

Tax slug.

'This whole 'grandparent' thing -- it's our parents and children conspiring against us!'

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"Is your mother here? I thought I smelled her perfume."

"He takes after his father."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Ahhh...'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Polygamists' Picnic

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'I demand a DNA test.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

He wanted a different one.

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"Having nannies really changes you."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."