Modern Family Dynamics Explorer T-Shirts

"You're moving in with us? We were going to move in with you."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Ahhh...'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

Polygamists' Picnic

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

'I demand a DNA test.'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

"Having nannies really changes you."

He wanted a different one.

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."