Family Diner Fanatic Gifts

One drawback to owning a family restaurant is that you have to keep chasing away the orphans.

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'She posted her first blog today.'

Newton had actually discovered gravity at a family dinner in his early childhood.

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

"You've all been like a company to me."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"I'll have the prayer breakfast."

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

'Flipping pancakes.' 'Waiting with a net.'

"So, you folks see anything you'd like?"

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

Here come the bears again, Larry.

"You heard your mother. There's no need to bless the superfoods."

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

Breakfast special: Eggs Benedict Arnold, $2.99: 'Yesterday's Eggs Benedict'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"