Family Crisis Explorer T-Shirts

'Oh, I see! So this is what it takes for you to call your mother.'

'Ahhh...'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

Polygamists' Picnic

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'I demand a DNA test.'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"Having nannies really changes you."

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

"I like to think that each generation will need a little less therapy than the generation before."

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

"It's from the children. They'd like us to let them in."

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

'Let's get this party started!'

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

'Today is my day to baby sit.'

"Listen, I'm still your mother."

"Miss Rogers, Sally Green. Is it true my son's research project is 'the effect of too much television on a typical ten-year-old?'"