Family Affairs Explorer T-Shirts

My flesh and blood � watching a reality tv show. Welcome to America, mom. This country is hopelessly divided. Now, now. The gulf between me and you gardening addicts isn't that big! The gulf between reality tv fans and sane people is. Sanity. So overrated.

'Ahhh...'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

'I demand a DNA test.'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

"Having nannies really changes you."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

He wanted a different one.

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

"I like to think that each generation will need a little less therapy than the generation before."

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

'None of the other things had instructions.'

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

'We've never had an accident - aside from three of our five kids.'

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Miss Rogers, Sally Green. Is it true my son's research project is 'the effect of too much television on a typical ten-year-old?'"

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

"All Vangundy is or ever shall be he owes to his mother."