Family Affairs Explorer T-Shirts

'Ahhh...'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'I demand a DNA test.'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

"Having nannies really changes you."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

'None of the other things had instructions.'

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

"I like to think that each generation will need a little less therapy than the generation before."

'We've never had an accident - aside from three of our five kids.'

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

"All Vangundy is or ever shall be he owes to his mother."

'Today is my day to baby sit.'

"Miss Rogers, Sally Green. Is it true my son's research project is 'the effect of too much television on a typical ten-year-old?'"

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Listen, I'm still your mother."