Family Anecdote Lover Gifts

"Have you told Rayna your abuelita doesn't like her?"

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

"Do you have to do that even when it's not Valentine's Day?"

Wanda takes a more proactive approach.

'It's time you knew the truth. You're not my real son. You're a novelization.'

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

Loving family

"Whadd ya wanna be for Halloween, Bro?"

Egalitarian family

"I can't use the computer tonight -- Dad has to scroll to his year of birth."

'Oh my, it's my sister's address! I'm delivering my own nephew!'

"This is your great-great-great grandfather Luis. He met your great-great-great-grandmother at the store where she worked. He was there to buy a lawn mower! She sold him a sheep. They hadn't invented law mowers."

Child with picture of rocket

'My teacher has a good memory. She remembers what a rotten kid you were.'

"Good memoir, but we're looking for something more candid. Like not-being-invited-home-ever-again-for-Thanksgiving candid."

"That's your uncle Colin. He's the black sheep of the family."

"A bum steer... Must be from your side of the family."

'Boy, Grandmas sure are cute at that age.'

'Are we there yet?'

"Papi! Baldo broke my favorite pencil!"

He began with an anecdote, spoke off the cuff, digressed from an aside, and flew off on a tangent.

'And to his son, he has left his Leprosy.'

Mum, I don't care what these nasty kids say about my brothers Romulus and remus being adopted: I love them all the same...

"There's Colonel Clapworthy alone with his memories - dirty old devil!"

"I have my mother's eyes...my dad's nose...Abuelito's hair...and my great aunt's teeth. Just my luck to be stuck with my own brain."

'I'm not sure that mentioning your diploma in 'Monkey Business' really helps your resume...'

I think that Sadie might be my long lost sister. I have a sister who lives in Boca Raton, FL., who is the mirror image of Sadie. Do you think that God could have made two of them and one got separated at birth? - Caroline R. Actual reader letter. Don't be absurd. Even a divine entity could not have created two women as comely as I am, and ... And? I might have a twin sister! According to a random letter that sounds facetious. To be continued.

'If I could choose I'd like to be my son.' 'When I grow up I want to be like my dad.'

'You'd think you guys never saw a baby before!'

'My brother lost all his teeth last night. .. He slept with his head under the pillow.'

Teddy had "health" at school. He doesn't need me. Ames. There's too much bad information floating around. That's for sure! It was mom who told us that babies come from a special hug god gives married people. You were 6!

'Mum.'

"If you must know, Jimmy, you came from a box in front of the market. It said 'Free Kittens.'"

"Oh Yeah? Well You've Got Covid Breath"

"Papi, in 15 years, almost one in four college-age students in the United States will be Latino!"