Falling For A Scam Pillows

"Would you believe it, that pensions liberation plan was just an on-line scam..."

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

"Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and I need your help!!! Please send me $500 and your bank routing number. You will rewarded with 10% of 12.7 million dollars and my undying friendship. Best wishes, Prince John Barron."

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

"Here's my wallet, my phone, the key to the safe and an application form for your so-called 'mind control device.'"

'I find if I'm the first one in and the first one out, Ponzi schemes can be very lucrative.'

Dialed the number, ordered the tapes and placed hundreds of little ads. Didn't hit a snag until step four: Just sit back and rake it in.

"Didn't anyone ever warn you about opening an e-mail from someone you don't know?"

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

Pretending To Care

"To verify you are the person who answered the phone, May I have your social security number and a major credit card."

Gone Phishing

'To be honest I generally only deal with clients by phone or email.'

"Fraud ..what fraud?... " SEC

Berlitz guide to Scamese

Amateur Spam.

"Me, I work with a professional snake catcher: he drops me into people's backyards at night and waits for the call in the morning to come and catch me again..."

Exercise for the end of the day...

Get rich quick giving seminars!

'So you say the cash box was stolen.'

P.T. Barnum as a child.

'But monsieur I can get it for you so cheap, all the hard work has been done, it just needs the cladding.'

Maynard inadvertently goes phishing.

"Yes, you are speaking to university admissions!"

'Earn Dollars a Day by Doing Absolutely Nothing!'

STIMULUS PACKAGE ALLOCATION COMMITTEE, 'Okay, we'll take the part out about the Nigerian banker's widow.'

"I paid twelve quid for this and it only mentions nine!"

"I'm the Nigerian Prince that emailed you. I got concerned when I never heard back."

"You mean all this time everything was really a screw?"

"Good heavens no, I haven't always been a monarch! I started as a confidence trickster."