Fakir Fan Gifts

Dog nail bed.

Fakir with plasters on his back.

Needle Toilet.

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

The Dance of the Penguins Once the March Is Over

E-Baying @ The Moon

"The unlucky lemming"

No Soliciting

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

"So, I've heard you call yourself 'King of the Jungle'! Based on what criteria exactly?"

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

"That's how humans reproduce? But, there's three of them..."

Mating rituals

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

Elton John

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

Goldfish evolution - "...it's called evolution and it means in a few years we'll walk right out that door."

How they did it . . .

"Well. . . either it's sinking, or you got the measurements wrong. . .!"

Sea Horse outside saloon

Woman and a Mexican hat.

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

"Well, you gonna spin?" "Ah, maybe after another Breaking Bad."

"I'm Bobby. If you like the lemonade, perhaps you'd like to invest in the 'Jimmy's Lemonade' franchise, listed in NASDAQ..."

Fox hunting.

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'At a guess I'd say it's one of the lesser Pharoahs.'

'They learn fast, don't they?'

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

Echo in the hippo.

Cat reading Rommel biography.

Lucky has an 'out-of-potty' experience.