Fakir Gifts

'Ouch!'

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

The Tiger Tank that came to Safari Tea.

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

"Wow! That's some PowerPoint presentation."

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"I suppose it was bound to come to this."

"About your tax refund—would you like to donate it to help pay off the national debt?"

Entering Washington, DC. Today's Polticial Atmosphere is TOXIC.

Employees must cleanse souls before returning to work.

Have you drugged your child today?

Intelligent Sexual Design

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

Brother Ernest, I said "vow of silence," not "sow of violence"!

Monk with a smiley face on his tonsure.

"Straighten up that tonsure."

"I'm at the age where work is a lot less fun, and fun is a lot more work."

Holy phone

"Haircuts...cast out evil thoughts..."

'You know, if we play it right, campaign finance reform could be pretty lucrative.'

The Ekert Saga: 'Uh...How is niceness a scourge?...Now there's a million unemployed lawyers, right?'

"Vegas"

"I worry that the king's constant lying and his attacks on our societal norms and institutions is coarsening the civic discourse deemed essential by enlightened people everywhere!"

'I'm good. How are you?'

"He's mad at God."

"I think I'm ready to go forth and multiply."

'Watch this... I have him trained to give me a treat every time I shake his hand.'

'I'm too clumsy to do anything else..'

A friar

I'm not sure asceticism is a relative concept Brother Michael

Pet Shop. Invisible Dog Fence. How Orwellian can you get?