Ficus Fanatic Gifts

"The Ficus Benjamina keeps asking where you are, and I'm tired of lying."

'Fetch.'

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

'Super Dog'

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

"I'm working from home today."

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

Super hero dog.

Boy and his dog

"Useless information"

"Throw, fetch, throw, fetch, throw, fetch. It all seems so obsessive-compulsive."

The last song before the party exploded.

'I'll fetch your newspaper and your pipe, but the slippers thing is just too kinky.'

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

'I'll bet you taught him that!'

Lazy plumber.

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

"Here's the problem."

Blend Schools

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

Champagne Charlie.

"We are now boarding priority travellers. Please be ready to present an air of entitlement."

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

Sales

"Honestly, I prefer stick."

"Watch his feet - if he doesn't step into the throw, he's going to fake it."

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'Good dog!'

'He took a fetching class.'