Funicular Fanatic Gifts

'As a steam enthusiast, a stair lift wasn't enough for Martin, he installed his own funicular railway.'

Cimafunk

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

'I'm a SNOOOW-Man,...doo-doot-doo-doo, doo-doot-doo-doo, I'm a SNOOOW-Man!...'

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

Sales

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

' Sheesh! I think people are getting tired of hearing those fables of Aesop's

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

'He has really taken to the training.'

Androcles, the Lion, and Sid, health insurance auditor.

Helicopter

"Same hectic routine every damn year. Mind if I hang back with you?"

Adios Amoebas

Scrabble with the Hares and Tortoise

Prince, another that knocks Heaven's Doors

Black Truffles!

The mushroom pickers

We contend that the boy cried wolf too many times, leaving my client no choice but to eat him.

"Inside you there are two wolves..."

'I dreamed I was flying and I had airline food.'

'Then, one day a kid yelled, 'Man, look at that ugly duck with the long neck and the black mole over it's beak.'. To think I spent years parading around thinking I was a swan.'

"I hear he's getting six figures a year."

Fingers

"Aren't you worried you might poison your customers?"

'Mom, Dad - this is Jeremy.'

"It seems I'm having some credibility issues."

The Emperor's New Followers

"Never eat a mouse who has medical skills."