Faithful Socialite Gifts

'He follows your tweets. That's how God knows everything you do.'

Sermon Today: Include God In Your Next Selfie.

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

Follow God On Twitter

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

"Brian's considering the optics."

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

A day at the races

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"Your party just totally blew us away."

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

'Dear, of course no one can tell you what they think of the wine, you haven't told them how much it cost yet.'

'Forget the artwork who made the martinis?!'

'I like the way you don't say I've had enough.'

Early man was a hunter-gatherer!