Faithful Philosopher Gifts

The Encyclopedia of Job

"I love your early work."

Clerical Training Course - 'Gentlemen, we are here to practise what we preach.'

"During Lent we must share with poor children what we have in abundance."

You've Got Questions, We've Got Answers.

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

"The plural of 'anecdote' is not 'data'."

"I don't see why divine intervention and government intervention have to be mutually exclusive."

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"I never trust brother Paul, he's always trying to get closer to God."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"If we're doing such a good job of keeping the devil away, how come we have so many of these infernal machines around here?"

Divinity School - Authorized Parsons Only

"I only call people within my denomination brother or sister." (two Christian talking about their denomination)

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'And now he's a reactionary, and conformist.'

Honorable Beade. He couldn't string two words together!

'Okay - who leaked?'

Maybe I'd better write a thank you letter for the Last Supper after all

'Have you got anything for omnipotence?'

'I don't believe in me.'

Proving Jesus lived is harder than finding footprints in the water he walked on.

I think we need to come to terms with the fact that our God is a cr**py God!

Priests/Vicars/Ministers.

'Hey, that's not what it says on the internet!'

'What do you mean. . . in a perfect heaven?'

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

"We don't know beans about cosmology. Just say 'God created the heaven and earth', and leave it at that."

"I belong to a non-denominational denomination."

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'