Faithful Meme Collector Pillows

"Instagram . . . weAPPon of mass distraction."

Polly txt speak

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

'Bert's dog training.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

"OMG, LOL!"

Obsession with the Internet.

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

'But this is fantastic, professor! It's like no language I've ever seen before!'

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"God, I HATE this planet..!"

WTF?

Alternative Medicine

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'

"Now you can stop watching those cute cat videos."

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

"If you could just stop threatening to invade us every 5 minutes... that would be great."

OMG...WTF?....LOL!!!...SOS...

Pavlov's Cat

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

"I may have been the runt of the litter, but online I'm the alpha dog."