Funny Meme Collector Pillows

"Should we agree on a safe word?"

Polly txt speak

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

The Rooster Comedian.

'Bert's dog training.'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"Bigfoot"

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

Suffering from Cooties?

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

Useless add-ons.

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Cake Free Zone

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Eat me"

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

Irritable trowel syndrome.