Funny Meme Collector Pillows

"Should we agree on a safe word?"

Polly txt speak

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

The Rooster Comedian.

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'Bert's dog training.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

Useless add-ons.

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

Cake Free Zone

Suffering from Cooties?

"Eat me"

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

Irritable trowel syndrome.

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"