Meme Collecting Pillows

"I feel tremendous pressure to frolic."

Polly txt speak

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"OMG, LOL!"

Vegetarian Birds

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Bigfoot"

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

Weird things I do because of the internet

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

"God, I HATE this planet..!"

"That's the trouble with cute kittens - they attract a lot of traffic."

"Tinnitus?"

'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'

OMG...WTF?....LOL!!!...SOS...

'Twitter for goldfish.'

Pavlov's Cat

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

"I'm trying to grow a cancel culture – but it keeps dividing and dividing until there's nothing left."

"This is what I took away from the meeting."

"I may have been the runt of the litter, but online I'm the alpha dog."

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

"It's not backstabbing if I tell our boss how lame you are while you're sitting here, is it?"

"... And in the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, please tweet with the hashtag #FeelinTheBreeze."

"Do you have a link I can click on that removes me from all future conversations with you?"

Trump goes down tweeting & firing more staff

Dinosaur Group Think

Al, pardon me while I check in on Facebook from "Loonytown."

Holiday Gifts 2020

'These are Martha's Camp Cupcake Muffins - and I've just ordered her new apron from the prison gift shop.'

Mankind's earliest ancestor emerges from the primordial ooze, closely followed by a prehistoric species of re-sealable plastic containers.