Faithful Floater Gifts

'Very very uplifting this morning, Reverend!'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

Christian and Born again Christian...

How's my sermon. . .

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

Parachuting bishop.

Jesus Christ

"I sympathize with how important it is to you, John... but I simply can't bless your lure!"

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

Airports.

"Holy Mackerel!"

Men's Prayer Group.

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'

'A funny thing happened to me on the way to the church tonight..'

Chruch member about preacher: 'Pastor Woodsley has old fashioned power point.'

God and His Copilot.

Jesus swept.

"I won't ask you what you're using for bait . . . what are you using for a line."

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

Preaching from the New Western Consumerist Version of the Bible.

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

'Go deep my son.' 'What's it all about?'

"Hmmm...says here that you were in charge of your church's Puppet Ministry."

'I thought about leaving once, but I couldn't quit the habit.'

'Personal?...No, I assure you, my relationship with God is strictly professional.'

'Our office is on the 14th floor, Peters... you should forget about rising sea levels.'

Priest reads sign above fire extinguisher that says: 'In case of quenchable fire, break glass'.

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

Flight attendant looking out a lighted window.

'Do you realize that you have several passages of scripture right on the tip of your tongue?'