Faithful Floater Gifts

'Very very uplifting this morning, Reverend!'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

Christian and Born again Christian...

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

How's my sermon. . .

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

Parachuting bishop.

"I sympathize with how important it is to you, John... but I simply can't bless your lure!"

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

Jesus Christ

"Holy Mackerel!"

Airports.

Men's Prayer Group.

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'

'A funny thing happened to me on the way to the church tonight..'

Chruch member about preacher: 'Pastor Woodsley has old fashioned power point.'

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

Jesus swept.

"I won't ask you what you're using for bait . . . what are you using for a line."

God and His Copilot.

Preaching from the New Western Consumerist Version of the Bible.

'Is this seat saved?' Fundamentalism Gone Awry.

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

'I thought about leaving once, but I couldn't quit the habit.'

"Hmmm...says here that you were in charge of your church's Puppet Ministry."

'Go deep my son.' 'What's it all about?'

'Personal?...No, I assure you, my relationship with God is strictly professional.'

'Our office is on the 14th floor, Peters... you should forget about rising sea levels.'

Priest reads sign above fire extinguisher that says: 'In case of quenchable fire, break glass'.

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

Flight attendant looking out a lighted window.