Faithful Experimenter T-Shirts

'This is the one - we want you to pray for this one.'

"Young Frankenstein"

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

Yound Einstein disproves an early theory: 'Aha! A watched pot DOES boil!'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

Sexual chemistry set

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

'Let's see what else will explode in the microwave!'

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

"One day mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

'I wish they'd hurry up and fix the wind tunnel.'

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

The Soundness of Newton's Laws

"I'm saving you with this booklet about the Kingdom of Heaven."

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?

Uncle Mort, have you been playing with your home genetic engineering kit again? Guilty. I was trying to clone my own DNA. For laughs, I mixed up my genes with compost. Mixed up? Technically, cross-bred. Trump is a meathead! Well, you're a vegetable.

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

"But, Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

Cursing Scientist.

"I feel so seen right now."

No other lab did as cutting edge research using lab rats as test subjects as McWit Lab.

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

"Sure we'll get in trouble, but our science grades will make up for it."

"My Son, of course there were only one set of footprints in the sand. I've got a hoverboard."

Science Project: Monkey See, Monkey Do.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Esq.

"You will not gain any sympathy from this court by offering to give one-tenth of your haul to the Church."

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'