Faithful Debater Gifts

"Looks like the board will finally have a reason to call a meeting."

"Do you think Jesus had one of those Bunker Buster bombs?"

"Stop saying Christians are gullible because we 'believe donkeys can talk'! There's only one talking donkey in the bible, and it happened a very long time ago."

"If you're motivated by the promise of a reward after death - will you mow my lawn for free?"

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

'If you start granting amnesty for people for following their conscience, pretty soon everyone will be following his conscience.'

The only Universal Truths that all religions agree upon.

"This'll show the Theology Department."

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

Prisoner speech

Research indicates seven deadly sins are treatable with drugs,

Holding the moral high ground

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

Evangelical Political Influence

Attorney General John Ashcroft

"Curses! You have thwarted my science-based argument by quoting scripture! I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! AAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."

'I know the difference between right and wrong, but it hasn't held me back.'

"Why is it that yours are 'Aha!' moments, but mine are always 'No duh?'"

"If thinking about sin is as bad as committing it, why not go ahead and commit it?"

I have a confession. Sometimes I doubt that God is really a giant chicken. Eggnostics.

'Well, now, let's just shine the light of common sense and linear thinking on this little computer problem of yours, shall we?' 'I'm not THAT desperate yet.'

Two hearts arguing.

"The world needs revolutionaries...people who challenge the system, who question authority, who aren't afraid to say, 'I won't take anymore!'"

"Saying you're moral because you believe in God is like saying you're a soldier because you play 'Call of Duty'."

'Don't worry about doing the right thing. There'll be plenty of time for that when you're fired, retired, or reincarnated.'

'That was a long winded conversation...I thought he'd never stop listening.'

"Why not use thoughts and prayers to stop abortions? That's what you've been using to stop school shootings."

"What are we protesting about?"

"My religion makes sense if you want it to."

"Which is better: made in USA by illegal immigrants or made overseas by cheap labor?"

'As an atheist, are you not even a little worried about suffering God's wrath?'