Fairy Enthusiast Gifts

'I didn't come completely out of the closet, but I told my niece I was the tooth fairy.'

Yellow Fairy

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Swan Fairy Tales

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

A Fairytale Update

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Are you made of sugar?'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Dragon Hair-dryer.

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

The Mouse Princess

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

ET Mishap

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

Rapunzel in the Morning

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."