Factory Owners Gifts

"We want to make sure that your wish for us to give you grandchildren has nothing to do with your concerns about future vacancies at your chicken processing plant."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'That's our mission statement.'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Claus 2.0

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Polluted geese

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

6 Brothers Falafel

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Cut Price

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

'We're like family. I look out for them. They look out for me.'

'We need to change our luck. Let's move our headquarters to Redmond, the home of Microsoft.'

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'