Facial Care Pillows

"Remember girls - these are evil and must be punished!!"

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

The Beard in the Stone

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

Movember

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

30 Days Has Movember

'Mom's Spa'

"In an effort to be more transparent, I've grown back my evil goatee."

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

"Are you growing that mustache to make me break up with you?"

"You've got some food or something in your moustache."

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'I've got it made in the shade. What worries me is sunshine.'

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

'I Love the touch of your dry flakey skin!'

Today I am trying to grow a bit of beard...

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

"No, my mom isn't hosing us down with water to keep us cool. She's hosing us down with sunscreen to keep us from burning."

"So long, Ma, I'm ridin' off into the sunset."

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

'As pizza maker, maybe a skin care products site isn't the best idea for an affiliate site.'

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

"And if your teeth could hear you, Larry, what would you say to them?"

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

Clock Tower Shadow

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."