Facial Care Pillows

"Remember girls - these are evil and must be punished!!"

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

The Beard in the Stone

Movember

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

30 Days Has Movember

'Mom's Spa'

"You've got some food or something in your moustache."

"In an effort to be more transparent, I've grown back my evil goatee."

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

"Are you growing that mustache to make me break up with you?"

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

'I've got it made in the shade. What worries me is sunshine.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

"No, my mom isn't hosing us down with water to keep us cool. She's hosing us down with sunscreen to keep us from burning."

'I Love the touch of your dry flakey skin!'

'As pizza maker, maybe a skin care products site isn't the best idea for an affiliate site.'

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

Today I am trying to grow a bit of beard...

"So long, Ma, I'm ridin' off into the sunset."

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

My Life in Beards.

"And if your teeth could hear you, Larry, what would you say to them?"

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."